15 September 2008

Ritual and Sacred Bonding


I attended my cousin's wedding shower yesterday.

As much as I can, I stay away from wedding and baby showers. I prefer inclusive co-ed events that don't separate men and women. It perpetuates the notion that women should be here doing this-or-that and men should be there doing something-or-other.

On one level I understand and on so many more levels I don't. Separation can do nothing but give permission, excuses or reasons for even more separation.

Instead I'd rather place my energies on celebrating the differences and finding more opportunities for the two to connect in ways that honor each.

It was a beautiful day, though. After a gracious, heartfelt thank you my cousin confided in me that she never felt like a valued part of the family and today made a difference. I never knew. That's why it's important to step away from our first preference (for me it would have been to not attend) to honor those we love. We may never know what our actions mean to them and how deeply they can be felt.



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