My best business advice? Scare yourself silly on a regular basis

"Sometimes you have to scare yourself silly in order to play a bigger game and participate in something amazing."

~ Steve Errey, The Confidence Guy


There's no better season to talk about scaring yourself silly.

With Hallowe'en quickly approaching, common scary activities include ghost tours, the telling of ghost stories and frightening tales, and watching horror films. But, there's nothing more scary than scaring yourself silly.

The term itself is comical to me and makes actually doing it a little easier. It brings light-heartedness to something that can be so off-putting that we find ourselves paralyzed in mediocrity--existing, but never deeply contented; living within the illusion of safety, but never fully exploring our infinite possibilities.

The only way to play bigger and be a part of something bigger than yourself is by doing something that completely unnerves you; makes you sick to your stomach; makes you think you'd go to most any extreme to avoid doing the thing. Each of us has at least one thing that scares us silly; some many more.

Have you ever wondered how much energy is being silently and stealthily siphoned off by inaction? However, if you face your issue(s) head-on by taking an action step, it's incredible how much personal power remains within to multiply exponentially so you can accomplish even greater things.

The truth is: the subconscious voice of inaction doesn't go away, although it may quiet down temporarily. Don't be mistaken! In some way it will continually make itself known. It's not going anywhere until it's appeased; with an action toward its resolve.

Even though it might not seem or feel like it, your inner voice is actually providing an opportunity for you to shine! It's leaving clues that a belief is ready to be shattered and replaced by something much more empowering. Wouldn't you rather have that?

I will let you in on a secret, but lean in closer; I don't want everyone to know!

I had a BIG fear of public speaking.

And it wasn't just public speaking; teleseminars were the worst. Any time I knew my conversation was being recorded, I froze. All the free-flow that was so comfortable in every other conversation; all my hard-earned knowledge; all my insights; all my conversation skills; flew right out the window leaving me a bumbling mess. And it felt terrible because I knew there was importance in the message.

But, I just couldn't get beyond the belief that I wasn't a good public speaker. In spite of support and opportunities to get better, I held that belief for years until I was tired of being limited by something I didn't really know to be true; after all, it was just a belief! Maybe, just maybe, I had been wrong, but I wouldn't know until I took action.

I knew if I simply focused on getting better every time, that was my personal measure of success. My goal was not to be the world's best speaker. My goal was to move beyond paralysis of unfounded beliefs.

Here's another secret: You may not have made the correlation by reading my newsletter, but until a few months ago, I didn't offer teleclasses. You know why I started? Because it forced me to take an action. I knew if I was accountable to others, I would have to come through for them. I used the exercise to scare myself silly. It was a beautiful self-orchestration to play at becoming better.

When I lightened up and prepared a platform for me to practice, based on my terms, my confidence soared. Now I am unstoppable. But it wouldn't have happened without my initial decision to scare myself silly and take an action step; little by little, you know?

This is how I did it. I set up the first teleclass to practice sounding more natural using a script. The second one was set up to "wing it" using only bullet points. I aced both, based on my personal measure of success. And completely gone is the fear. I only aspired to be better than I was before the experiment and I accomplished that.

Another way to say scare yourself silly is: go out on a limb. Why is this so important? Because that's where the fruit is! This applies both literally and figuratively. Literally, nature provides fruit in abundance. It's right there within eyesight, but it might require effort to enjoy the bounty; climbing high and reaching far. Figuratively, we must go out on a limb to access life's fruit (abundance). Based on my observations, it's after we invest something of ourselves that we reap the most benefit.

Are you afraid of public speaking? Contact everyone you know and let them know you're available to speak (choose a comfortable topic based on your personal expertise). Then follow through, meaning: go do it.

Are you afraid to make sales calls? Get a list, sit down, and start dialing.

Are you afraid to hire a support team? Run the numbers, establish a budget and a plan for implementation, ask for referrals and start interviewing.


Whatever your scary thing, take some action toward it. Go out on a limb and scare yourself silly on a regular basis. Soon that becomes your norm and you wake up one day to realize you are playing bigger and participating in something amazing; it's called your life.

An inspiration from Buckminster Fuller and a message to every misfit on the planet

I had the privilege recently to attend an informal presentation by Jaime Snyder; grandson of Buckminster (Bucky) Fuller.

If you’re unfamiliar with Bucky Fuller, he was a true visionary: philosopher, designer, poet, architect, artist, engineer, entrepreneur, author, mathematician, teacher and inventor.

It was astounding to hear some of the more personal aspects of Bucky’s life and notice so many similarities to my own experience and those of my friends and colleagues; maybe even yours. Read on.

In his 30’s, already a proven “failure” at numerous pursuits (including flunking out of Harvard twice: first for spending all his money partying with a vaudeville troupe, and then, after having been readmitted, for his "irresponsibility and lack of interest"), bankrupt, jobless, living in public, low-income housing, and drinking frequently due to the death of his young daughter, he sat on the edge of Lake Michigan and seriously contemplated “ending it all.” He believed that his wife and second child would have better opportunities without him due to his failed attempts to succeed in life.

Then, he had another thought: If he did only things that truly inspired him instead of his former approach (which obviously wasn’t working), maybe the outcome would be different. At that moment he chose to embark on "an experiment, to find what a single individual [could] contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity."

Like many of us, Bucky was first driven by a focus on money. It’s a common experience based on systematic social conditioning. Inherently, there’s nothing wrong with that focus; it just wasn’t his priority. With the passage of time, however, in part, it led him to contemplate suicide.

He recognized that a focus on money—because it wasn’t a part of his personal agenda—and putting his attention on what others thought was important—instead of following his own bliss—wasn’t in alignment with making his greatest contribution. He could never achieve personal excellence within the confines of the existing model. As history eventually revealed, he would thrive outside convention. His lakeside inner guide was spot-on. (After all, life is a grand experiment; why not approach it as such?)

It doesn’t even occur to us to question the model. It doesn’t even occur to us that there are alternatives to conforming. It doesn’t even occur to us that to shine as brilliantly as possible, we might have to navigate our own way; meaning we follow no one and no thing. We might have to create a solitary path that paves the way for others.

By his own appraisal, Bucky was a “non-conforming misfit.” Does this sound familiar to you? If you’re an entrepreneur, it’s very likely you’re a non-conforming misfit, too.

So, what’s the point? What’s the big takeaway here?

1. Every misfit has been discouraged to the point of taking dramatic action.

Whether it’s suicide, or an abrupt or uncharacteristic decision about a move, a relationship, business, or your health, you know when you’ve had enough of what is. You simply cannot take any more. Your “sponge is full” and you cannot live one more minute within your current circumstances; you can’t, and you won’t.

Life has interesting ways of presenting enormous opportunity; it may even be packaged in despair. Quite effective, it finally gets our full attention, although there may have been signals of misalignment for years. When we’re done; fully saturated; fully convinced that we’ve tried everything; that’s the moment fresh possibilities surface to grab our focus and set us off in a new, inspired direction.

2. Every misfit has felt alone in defining and/or delivering her unique message.

You and life collaborated to create a moment of decision; this is one of your great life opportunities to shine. After the realization that there may be options you hadn’t previously explored, now what? As if you weren’t overwhelmed before! Hmph.

Now that you’ve determined your best options are based in following your own inner drummer, it’s likely you’ll spend your time discovering your passions (if you haven’t already), find more ways to nurture and be kind to yourself, send the inner critic on vacation, invest in some down-home soul searching, explore the many ways to enjoy what is, and simply be.

Inspirations come with allowing; not planning, strategizing and acting, as so many of us have been taught. When you’re wholly aligned with who you are and intimately knowledgeable of your unique gifts, the rest will naturally present itself in response to your alignment. The Way will be made known to you. It must; it’s a Universal Law.

3. Every misfit has felt overwhelmed at some point in figuring out the how of making his finest contribution to humanity.

When you follow no model, you are ever creating in-the-moment. You may have no idea if what you’re doing makes any sense. You may have no idea if your inspirations are a few or hundreds of years before their “time.” You may have no proven methods of implementation. Upon implementation, you may have no universally-agreed-on measure of “success.” At best, you may have no or few supporters. At worst, you could be persecuted or ostracized for acting on your convictions.

Every effort is based in inspiration. You may have no idea how—after the investment of precious resources of time, money, effort, passion, and drive—or if, all your efforts will eventually enrich humanity. After all, life’s a grand experiment!



In conclusion, misfit, this is my heartfelt message to you:

Misfit, you may never achieve personal excellence within the confines of the existing model. You probably weren’t meant to. Create your haven—and thrive—outside convention. Embark on an experiment to find out what a single individual (you!) can contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity. As a misfit, that’s most likely your calling.

Misfit, wear the term as a badge of honor, for it requires a tremendous amount of courage to be a leader; a visionary; a pioneer; a lightbearer; a path maker; an entrepreneur.

Misfit, regardless of how lost, lonely, or scared silly you might ever feel on this journey, you are never alone. There are misfits everywhere, lurking among the masses, trying to figure out their own ways to change the world and benefit humanity. Make it your mission to find them!

Transform Adversity Into Personal Triumph

Recently, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Pete Winiarski of the Institute of Success and Goal Achievement. Listen to the 60-minute interview now. Enjoy!

Following is the marketing content authored by Pete to promote the call.

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Is there a traumatic event in your past holding you back in some way? Here are common examples:

1. You just received a pink slip and lost your job.
2. You had a parent, child, sibling, or close friend die unexpectedly.
3. You just ended a long-term relationship or got divorced.
4. You were abused as a child and have been carrying that around with you for years.
5. You lost your life savings due to poor investment choices.
6. Your favorite car was totaled in an accident.
7. You have a permanent physical disability.

And the list goes on. The bottom line is: you've been impacted by something traumatic at some point in your life. We all have.

First, know that you're not alone.

Second, realize that your personal adversity is likely impacting you and your performance in other areas of your life.

For many of us, past events created wounds that we unconsciously carry around, impacting every area of our lives. For some of us, these events may have occurred in childhood.

Would you like to learn how to overcome this adversity and turn your traumatic experience into a personal triumph?

Our guest this week, Charlon Bobo, is an empowermentor and entrepreneurial visionary, as well as a copywriter, editor and best-selling author. She's here to share with us her raw and very personal story of overcoming and the 5 key insights she uses often as her life guide. You, too, will be able to overcome your personal adversity.

I promise: you will be shocked by what Charlon went through, and amazed at the power of her decision to work through it. You will learn how to manage and overcome your personal adversity, and learn to incorporate her "Whole Life Approach" for everyday peace and success.

You, too, can learn to live a life of ease. Listen to this 60-minute interview to find out how.

That On Which We Focus, Manifests

This piece is inspired by TUT.com; a Note from the Universe on Monday, March 29, 2010.

Whatever you focus on, you will experience.

When you talk about "what is" or "what was,"
even if you're just explaining to a friendly ear,
you project more of the same into the future.
If you ask more than you give thanks, you'll believe less in your own power.
And if you insist that it's hard and that you're lonely, you'll find that it is, and you are.

Yet, always you can choose to focus on what's good.

It's common to want to share all of life's experiences with those we love; including the "downs." The simple question, "How are you?" by a close friend often opens a pandora's box of the details of what's going on in our lives. Rarely do we stop and wonder about the impact of our words on our future experience.

So, how do we remain authentic AND honor what's actually happening, AND pave the way for manifesting what we really want if it's different than what we are living right now?

As best we can, with our words, thought and actions we must shift our focus to the positive aspects of what's happening in our lives.

Positive thinking is getting a bad rap recently with the launch of a new book. To be sure, I'm not advocating the manufacture of some artificial pasted-on smiley face when we are truly hurting. What I am saying is that if we take just a moment to reframe our responses, we can see something beneficial in what is happening right now. And THAT'S what's worth focusing on and sharing with others.

Y: The Question and The Funnel

The Question

We often ask ourselves “Why?” Why this? Why that? Why now? Why me?

These wonderings usually involve extreme impact of some kind:

• Why did I lose my job?
• Why did my child get sick?
• Why didn’t I foresee losing my retirement money in the stock market?
• Why was the timing of the auto accident so soon after the death of my father?
• Why does my longtime acquaintance seem disinterested in continuing our friendship?
• Why have there been a string of circumstances that have evaporated the solid foundation of my life?
• Why has my business so completely changed that I have no reliable monthly income?

Although it’s common to wonder about the whys of life, this exploration is the ultimate distraction. In the end, if you had the answer to the question, would it matter? Does knowing change anything? Maybe yes, maybe no.

Why is it a distraction? Because it only prolongs the inevitable: taking the next step toward regaining your soulful stability; your groundedness; the conscious creation of that which positions you securely in your personal power.

I submit that the only why question worthy of your attention is: Why not?

That leads me to…

The Funnel

If you go outside, turn your face toward the heavens and lift your arms, your body forms a Y.

This is the ultimate representation of surrender, willingness, openness or welcoming, depending on your mindset and heartset.

Do you realize that this is also the shape of a funnel? From this position, the Universe can pour its very essence directly into you: all that is goodness, abundance, opportunity, joy, etc. Amassing in the ether and narrowing into a direct stream, if you are open and allow this influx directly from Source, you can be transformed.

When you look at the vastness of the sky, and allow yourself to be engulfed, you are too transfixed by the magnitude to wonder why this? or why that? You don’t have answers to the questions of why me? or why now?, but you don’t need them. When you really think about it, all of that is irrelevant in the grand scope of all that is. Besides, you may never know anyway, so why even pose the question? Why invest the time and energy in something that simply is? Instead, allow whatever isas-is. to be okay

The next time your mind naturally goes to the question of why?, consciously shift it to why not?:

• Why not embrace what is?
• Why not allow myself to surrender to my current circumstances?
• Why not operate from a position of knowing that all is well, regardless of external situations?
• Why not pursue my biggest dreams?
• Why not give myself the gift of all that is accessible?
• Why not be grateful for the events in my life, especially when I don’t understand why?
• Why not try something new?
• Why not completely change my perspective to view life as a process?
• Why not admit I don’t know everything?
• Why not treat myself with the kindness I gladly give to others?

Why not, indeed!

Regardless of the Weather, All Is Well

"What if funky, confusing, gray, lonely days were just part of a "system" that, in turn, created bright, rich, happy, friendly days?

What if they were just meant to give deeper elements of your creativity a rest?

What if they were deliberately crafted holidays, of a sort, devised by your inner psyche to relieve you from the pressure of artificial expectations?

Would you still bemoan them, wonder what's wrong with you, or fear that they'll never end? Or, would they kind of tickle you pink?"

~The Universe

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What if we were certain? What would our lives be like if we operated from a place of surety? What if we functioned from a foundation of unshakable knowing? What if, no matter what was happening in our lives, we soared above it all in the absolute confidence that everything was perfectly aligned?

How differently would you be in the world, approaching it with such boldness? You can, you know. Give yourself permission to feel the difference and be it. I'm not saying it's easy... especially at first. I AM saying it's an option. Be certain. Be sure. Know. All IS well.

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Overcoming Is a Lifestyle, Not a Temporary Survival Tool

Contrary to popular belief, overcoming is not a reaction or response to life’s challenging circumstances. Instead, overcoming is a constant, a full-life approach, a way of being.

As an overcomer you embody the surety that no matter what unfolds in life you are fully-equipped to move through any circumstance and come out stronger on the other side. Regardless of what you may temporarily feel in any moment, you bring a certainty of calm, knowing there is high purpose in every experience. And this opens the gates of all possibility. You’ll be amazed at what creative solutions present themselves when you know the process of life is to show how grand you really are.

It is not my intent to portray this approach as easy, but it certainly feels better than being overwhelmed and worried that things won’t work out. You have not lived this long to have things fall apart now. You are divinely guided and supported in ways you cannot imagine. Embrace the lifestyle of a true overcomer and live free.

I am so honored to share my story in Overcomers, Inc.