Are you focused and fully present with what's right in front of you?

Whatever you do, do it with your full, focused attention.
~Charlon Bobo

We live in busy times and yet precious moments are slipping past with us engaged in most activities with our half-attention, or less. Here are only a few recent examples:

1. I see children with their parents completely distracted by technology (cell phone, iPhone, etc.) instead of engaging in conversation, and yet we have the audacity to demand that those same children snap to attention when we want it!
   
2. In restaurants I see couples sharing a meal with both people obviously distracted by private thoughts instead of enjoying the moment of now fully engaged with each other.
   
3. I responded to a request from a prospect and in those 10 minutes of trying to connect and give her something of value, she took two other calls. (Needless to say, this is all the information I needed to decide she is not my next new client. When we cannot give our full attention to someone who genuinely wants to help us, our priorities need a major adjustment.)

I see the inefficiency of fragmentation. Checking and responding to emails as they come in; acting on every mental impulse to do something other than what you're currently doing; telling others you can focus on them while you're doing two or three other tasks (and believing the lie, because if you called a bullshit on yourself, you'd have to actually take responsibility and change your behavior).

I'm not exempt. Believe me, I get distracted by the next shiny object as much or more than anyone else on the planet. And I pride myself on efficiency and my ability to manage many tasks at one time. BTW, when did that become an admirable trait?! (It's the perfect recipe for fragmentation at its best and insanity at its worst.)

However, when it comes to engaging with others in a meaningful way--whether in person, via telephone or via email--I am committed to consistently being fully present; giving those in front of me my very best... now that's a present!

You can never give your kid another childhood. You can never re-do an evening out with your beloved. You never get another chance to make a first impression on someone who can help you thrive in business.

Whatever you do, do it with your full, focused attention.

My best business advice? Scare yourself silly on a regular basis

"Sometimes you have to scare yourself silly in order to play a bigger game and participate in something amazing."

~ Steve Errey, The Confidence Guy


There's no better season to talk about scaring yourself silly.

With Hallowe'en quickly approaching, common scary activities include ghost tours, the telling of ghost stories and frightening tales, and watching horror films. But, there's nothing more scary than scaring yourself silly.

The term itself is comical to me and makes actually doing it a little easier. It brings light-heartedness to something that can be so off-putting that we find ourselves paralyzed in mediocrity--existing, but never deeply contented; living within the illusion of safety, but never fully exploring our infinite possibilities.

The only way to play bigger and be a part of something bigger than yourself is by doing something that completely unnerves you; makes you sick to your stomach; makes you think you'd go to most any extreme to avoid doing the thing. Each of us has at least one thing that scares us silly; some many more.

Have you ever wondered how much energy is being silently and stealthily siphoned off by inaction? However, if you face your issue(s) head-on by taking an action step, it's incredible how much personal power remains within to multiply exponentially so you can accomplish even greater things.

The truth is: the subconscious voice of inaction doesn't go away, although it may quiet down temporarily. Don't be mistaken! In some way it will continually make itself known. It's not going anywhere until it's appeased; with an action toward its resolve.

Even though it might not seem or feel like it, your inner voice is actually providing an opportunity for you to shine! It's leaving clues that a belief is ready to be shattered and replaced by something much more empowering. Wouldn't you rather have that?

I will let you in on a secret, but lean in closer; I don't want everyone to know!

I had a BIG fear of public speaking.

And it wasn't just public speaking; teleseminars were the worst. Any time I knew my conversation was being recorded, I froze. All the free-flow that was so comfortable in every other conversation; all my hard-earned knowledge; all my insights; all my conversation skills; flew right out the window leaving me a bumbling mess. And it felt terrible because I knew there was importance in the message.

But, I just couldn't get beyond the belief that I wasn't a good public speaker. In spite of support and opportunities to get better, I held that belief for years until I was tired of being limited by something I didn't really know to be true; after all, it was just a belief! Maybe, just maybe, I had been wrong, but I wouldn't know until I took action.

I knew if I simply focused on getting better every time, that was my personal measure of success. My goal was not to be the world's best speaker. My goal was to move beyond paralysis of unfounded beliefs.

Here's another secret: You may not have made the correlation by reading my newsletter, but until a few months ago, I didn't offer teleclasses. You know why I started? Because it forced me to take an action. I knew if I was accountable to others, I would have to come through for them. I used the exercise to scare myself silly. It was a beautiful self-orchestration to play at becoming better.

When I lightened up and prepared a platform for me to practice, based on my terms, my confidence soared. Now I am unstoppable. But it wouldn't have happened without my initial decision to scare myself silly and take an action step; little by little, you know?

This is how I did it. I set up the first teleclass to practice sounding more natural using a script. The second one was set up to "wing it" using only bullet points. I aced both, based on my personal measure of success. And completely gone is the fear. I only aspired to be better than I was before the experiment and I accomplished that.

Another way to say scare yourself silly is: go out on a limb. Why is this so important? Because that's where the fruit is! This applies both literally and figuratively. Literally, nature provides fruit in abundance. It's right there within eyesight, but it might require effort to enjoy the bounty; climbing high and reaching far. Figuratively, we must go out on a limb to access life's fruit (abundance). Based on my observations, it's after we invest something of ourselves that we reap the most benefit.

Are you afraid of public speaking? Contact everyone you know and let them know you're available to speak (choose a comfortable topic based on your personal expertise). Then follow through, meaning: go do it.

Are you afraid to make sales calls? Get a list, sit down, and start dialing.

Are you afraid to hire a support team? Run the numbers, establish a budget and a plan for implementation, ask for referrals and start interviewing.


Whatever your scary thing, take some action toward it. Go out on a limb and scare yourself silly on a regular basis. Soon that becomes your norm and you wake up one day to realize you are playing bigger and participating in something amazing; it's called your life.

An inspiration from Buckminster Fuller and a message to every misfit on the planet

I had the privilege recently to attend an informal presentation by Jaime Snyder; grandson of Buckminster (Bucky) Fuller.

If you’re unfamiliar with Bucky Fuller, he was a true visionary: philosopher, designer, poet, architect, artist, engineer, entrepreneur, author, mathematician, teacher and inventor.

It was astounding to hear some of the more personal aspects of Bucky’s life and notice so many similarities to my own experience and those of my friends and colleagues; maybe even yours. Read on.

In his 30’s, already a proven “failure” at numerous pursuits (including flunking out of Harvard twice: first for spending all his money partying with a vaudeville troupe, and then, after having been readmitted, for his "irresponsibility and lack of interest"), bankrupt, jobless, living in public, low-income housing, and drinking frequently due to the death of his young daughter, he sat on the edge of Lake Michigan and seriously contemplated “ending it all.” He believed that his wife and second child would have better opportunities without him due to his failed attempts to succeed in life.

Then, he had another thought: If he did only things that truly inspired him instead of his former approach (which obviously wasn’t working), maybe the outcome would be different. At that moment he chose to embark on "an experiment, to find what a single individual [could] contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity."

Like many of us, Bucky was first driven by a focus on money. It’s a common experience based on systematic social conditioning. Inherently, there’s nothing wrong with that focus; it just wasn’t his priority. With the passage of time, however, in part, it led him to contemplate suicide.

He recognized that a focus on money—because it wasn’t a part of his personal agenda—and putting his attention on what others thought was important—instead of following his own bliss—wasn’t in alignment with making his greatest contribution. He could never achieve personal excellence within the confines of the existing model. As history eventually revealed, he would thrive outside convention. His lakeside inner guide was spot-on. (After all, life is a grand experiment; why not approach it as such?)

It doesn’t even occur to us to question the model. It doesn’t even occur to us that there are alternatives to conforming. It doesn’t even occur to us that to shine as brilliantly as possible, we might have to navigate our own way; meaning we follow no one and no thing. We might have to create a solitary path that paves the way for others.

By his own appraisal, Bucky was a “non-conforming misfit.” Does this sound familiar to you? If you’re an entrepreneur, it’s very likely you’re a non-conforming misfit, too.

So, what’s the point? What’s the big takeaway here?

1. Every misfit has been discouraged to the point of taking dramatic action.

Whether it’s suicide, or an abrupt or uncharacteristic decision about a move, a relationship, business, or your health, you know when you’ve had enough of what is. You simply cannot take any more. Your “sponge is full” and you cannot live one more minute within your current circumstances; you can’t, and you won’t.

Life has interesting ways of presenting enormous opportunity; it may even be packaged in despair. Quite effective, it finally gets our full attention, although there may have been signals of misalignment for years. When we’re done; fully saturated; fully convinced that we’ve tried everything; that’s the moment fresh possibilities surface to grab our focus and set us off in a new, inspired direction.

2. Every misfit has felt alone in defining and/or delivering her unique message.

You and life collaborated to create a moment of decision; this is one of your great life opportunities to shine. After the realization that there may be options you hadn’t previously explored, now what? As if you weren’t overwhelmed before! Hmph.

Now that you’ve determined your best options are based in following your own inner drummer, it’s likely you’ll spend your time discovering your passions (if you haven’t already), find more ways to nurture and be kind to yourself, send the inner critic on vacation, invest in some down-home soul searching, explore the many ways to enjoy what is, and simply be.

Inspirations come with allowing; not planning, strategizing and acting, as so many of us have been taught. When you’re wholly aligned with who you are and intimately knowledgeable of your unique gifts, the rest will naturally present itself in response to your alignment. The Way will be made known to you. It must; it’s a Universal Law.

3. Every misfit has felt overwhelmed at some point in figuring out the how of making his finest contribution to humanity.

When you follow no model, you are ever creating in-the-moment. You may have no idea if what you’re doing makes any sense. You may have no idea if your inspirations are a few or hundreds of years before their “time.” You may have no proven methods of implementation. Upon implementation, you may have no universally-agreed-on measure of “success.” At best, you may have no or few supporters. At worst, you could be persecuted or ostracized for acting on your convictions.

Every effort is based in inspiration. You may have no idea how—after the investment of precious resources of time, money, effort, passion, and drive—or if, all your efforts will eventually enrich humanity. After all, life’s a grand experiment!



In conclusion, misfit, this is my heartfelt message to you:

Misfit, you may never achieve personal excellence within the confines of the existing model. You probably weren’t meant to. Create your haven—and thrive—outside convention. Embark on an experiment to find out what a single individual (you!) can contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity. As a misfit, that’s most likely your calling.

Misfit, wear the term as a badge of honor, for it requires a tremendous amount of courage to be a leader; a visionary; a pioneer; a lightbearer; a path maker; an entrepreneur.

Misfit, regardless of how lost, lonely, or scared silly you might ever feel on this journey, you are never alone. There are misfits everywhere, lurking among the masses, trying to figure out their own ways to change the world and benefit humanity. Make it your mission to find them!

As an awakening or awakened woman, what information would be helpful to you RIGHT NOW to educate you, and ignite and fuel your journey?

As women, it’s our time in history to stand.
Not for anything. Not against anything.
But to simply stand in our power.
Power is not our birthright.
Power is our nature; our very essence.

~ Charlon Bobo

With expertise in the handmade beauty industry, female entrepreneurship & leadership, conscious entrepreneurship and the women's empowerment paradigm shift, I am developing a series of real-world, real-time, real-benefit teleclasses. And I want to hear from you so I can deliver content that has true value and meaning.

From your personal experience and of the women in your circles, what message do you think women most need to hear? Is it about relationships? Health & wellness? Finances? Career? Overall happiness? Obliterating self-imposed barriers to confident living? Tangible skills during this shift? The hows of standing in power? Let me know your thoughts.

I thank you in advance, Sisters. We are a powerful collective and can accomplish anything our hearts desire in conscious collaboration.

This is why women rock this planet!

I just asked a dear colleague, friend and confidant for her help in spreading the word via social media channels about an inspired project that is rocking my world. It is the work-of-a-lifetime and not only does it have me fully engaged and captivated, it is blossoming with a life of its own as the message travels worldwide. Anyway...

Her response? on it! That's it, just, "on it!"

It doesn't take much to support the women in our lives who assume the many diverse roles in shape-shifting the existing paradigm. Sometimes the fullness of support is contained in 4 letters, 2 words and 1 exclamation point. Thank you, dear friend.

Right now, think of one thing you can do to encourage, inspire or support a smart, savvy, strong woman in your life and go do it! Yes, now. Sense the urgency? It's that important.

Transform Adversity Into Personal Triumph

Recently, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Pete Winiarski of the Institute of Success and Goal Achievement. Listen to the 60-minute interview now. Enjoy!

Following is the marketing content authored by Pete to promote the call.

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Is there a traumatic event in your past holding you back in some way? Here are common examples:

1. You just received a pink slip and lost your job.
2. You had a parent, child, sibling, or close friend die unexpectedly.
3. You just ended a long-term relationship or got divorced.
4. You were abused as a child and have been carrying that around with you for years.
5. You lost your life savings due to poor investment choices.
6. Your favorite car was totaled in an accident.
7. You have a permanent physical disability.

And the list goes on. The bottom line is: you've been impacted by something traumatic at some point in your life. We all have.

First, know that you're not alone.

Second, realize that your personal adversity is likely impacting you and your performance in other areas of your life.

For many of us, past events created wounds that we unconsciously carry around, impacting every area of our lives. For some of us, these events may have occurred in childhood.

Would you like to learn how to overcome this adversity and turn your traumatic experience into a personal triumph?

Our guest this week, Charlon Bobo, is an empowermentor and entrepreneurial visionary, as well as a copywriter, editor and best-selling author. She's here to share with us her raw and very personal story of overcoming and the 5 key insights she uses often as her life guide. You, too, will be able to overcome your personal adversity.

I promise: you will be shocked by what Charlon went through, and amazed at the power of her decision to work through it. You will learn how to manage and overcome your personal adversity, and learn to incorporate her "Whole Life Approach" for everyday peace and success.

You, too, can learn to live a life of ease. Listen to this 60-minute interview to find out how.

Life’s Experiences Go Deeper Than The Surface: What An Overweight Personal Trainer Taught Me Today

On my daily walk/run today, I noticed an overweight personal trainer. She was teaching a group of moms with strollers how to exercise with stretch resistance bands. I wondered what each of them thought the first time they saw her. Could it have been something like What can *she* teach me about physical wellness, strengthening, toning, etc.? She doesn’t even have a masterful grasp on it herself!

And yet, this trainer obviously has some expertise because this isn’t the first time I’ve seen her with what I assume are clients. As the babies watch their Mommas stretch, grunt and bend, laughing often and enjoying the camaraderie, the Moms are focused on following the instructions from their trainer. They know there’s more to this experience—and their trainer—than how it appears. There’s more; so much more.

I’ve started to say, “It’s never the thing.”

What I mean is: regardless of the situations in which you find yourself, it’s never about what you initially think it’s about. It’s about something much bigger than the current circumstance. It’s about attracting yet another experience so you can exercise the muscle of self-mastery.

For those women, this experience may be about setting aside prejudices, or taking the most positive benefit from everyone who crosses their path. It may even be about being a teacher themselves… of compassion and acceptance. And that may be the biggest gift that trainer receives all week.

No matter what you see in front of you, consider that there’s so much more going on if you’ll take even a moment to look and simply wonder about that possibility. Approach every circumstance by posing this question: If this isn’t what it seems, what IS it… what IS it about?

With this question, you lift the veil that conceals the energetic component behind or beneath experiences to discover the delightfully unexpected; what you could never have anticipated! As a usual practice, it’s fun and a true delight because you see that which is rarely seen by others; they just don’t take the time. You experience a rich fullness that is always there, but often goes unrecognized because most of us think that what’s on the surface is all there is.

And what happens when you see the true energy (the purpose, the value, the dynamic, etc.) behind what is?

When you honor the energy of what is with your attention, it responds in recognition. Because you acknowledged its presence, it wants to continue the conversation. In response to it, your gratitude floods and infuses it with your unique vibrance. Then what? With your genuine curiosity, you have established an invisible yet powerful connection to duplicate the process again and again! Essentially, you are inviting it to guide you to refining this skill through more opportunities to practice. Just like practicing anything, the more you do it, the easier it is and the better you become. With practice, this can become your first-nature. This insider knowledge can be yours instantaneously.

The better you are at this technique, the quicker you will know in any situation what’s really going on and can immediately attune yourself to bringing in the highest benefit for all parties. Whether it’s saying something, taking an action or powerfully focusing your thoughts, you are a catalyst for change in-the-moment; where and when it’s needed most.

Thank you, personal trainer. You inspired me today.

The 'Aligned Female' Shape-Shifts Business Based on Innate Feminine Gifts

Entrepreneurship is shifting dramatically and the aligned female influence cannot be ignored. The feminine:

• brings a sense of community to business
• is cooperative because we know that is the road to thriving
• achieves results by nurturing others
• wants all members of our tribe to succeed
• encourages others
• challenges others with love
• champions others with kind accountability methods
• celebrates milestones and goal attainment

There is no doubt—with the shifting business paradigm in full swing—women have made a powerful impression and will continue to do so. Our innate gifts as birthers of new ideology will change the face of entrepreneurship so much that soon the old façade won’t be recognizable. It’s the dawning of a new age and we’re the luminaries.

Allowing intuition, spirituality and pure intent to guide us, we’re in a very powerful position to creative positive and lasting change. The way business is conducted will never be the same.

Now, let's return to the reference of 'aligned female' and elaborate for the fullest understanding.

Being born female (a gender identification) does not an empowered woman make!

It’s vital to understand that being strong, allowing the feminine divine to be honored in our words, thoughts and actions, referring to ourselves as “conscious,” embracing our roles as leaders and visionaries, and intentionally creating our lives, is a journey… the journey of a lifetime.

The aligned woman is so much more than female. She:

• has a vested interest in bringing her best to everything she does
• willingly surrenders her plan to the wisdom of the Universe, when it's appropriate for her to do so
• commits on every level to the ever-unfolding process of life
• pushes on with courage, no matter how hard the task
• walks with herself, if necessary, so as not to dilute her efforts and energy with anything/anyone that might take her off-course
• graciously serves others in accordance with her inner wisdom guiding her to choose if, when, and how to use her innate talents and gifts
• models integrity because it’s the core of who she is and how she conducts the business of her life
• celebrates her unique talents—removing all hindrances to shining brilliantly—because she understands this world benefits from her exceptional contribution
• is bold in her approach to life because there’s no value in standing for nothing
• accepts herself as-is, always

Modeling empowered divine femininity has many rewards and it also comprises great responsibility; to whom much is given, much is required. Wielding power with benevolence requires a solid understanding that true power never attempts to manipulate, dominate or control (or even influence or persuade); only insecurity behaves that way. We are actively defining the future of business with our actions. We are creating something dynamically different.

What is your unique role in this shift and what are the innate gifts you bring to business as an 'aligned female'?

Building Relationships: Service-based Businesses Go Above-and-Beyond One-Size-Fits-All Email Responses

If you offer services vs. products, you may require much more information from prospects before providing pricing, turnaround time or other specifications.

In the interest of time (don't we all want it now?) potential clients usually want an immediate answer, but you know it's not that simple. And it's best to remain true to the process that works best for you so, in the end, the information you provide is accurate and thorough. To do that, you want to find out more about them, their offerings, their target market and their short- and long-term visions for the business.

"I own two companies with a partner. How can we utilize your services?"

It's a great question; and one that deserves your full attention. Respond immediately with an email to acknowledge receipt and invite them to set up a telephone or video appointment to discuss their specific requirements. Here's an example:

"At XYZ Company we are committed to customized solutions for each client. One-size-fits-all just doesn't work: there are too many variables. We know your time and efforts are valuable and that's precisely why we don't want to waste them. You see, if we don't understand your business, we may not be fully maximizing our contribution to your success. During our comprehensive and complimentary 30-minute consult, we discover how we can best serve you. We want you to experience excellence. Follow this link to our online calendar and set up your appointment today."

Email is limited in its ability to fully communicate either their needs or your ability to meet those needs. During the fact-finding mission (the call), you are able to discern much more than you can by simply submitting your standard price sheet or a link to your prices page. After all, you are building a relationship. That doesn't happen in one email interaction or even one telephone call, but you're much closer to really understanding how your services can benefit them after speaking directly. A personal appointment gives both participants a chance to connect on many other levels.

When you are in a service business, there are no homogenous answers to what you can provide. Fundamentally, what you can provide is based on client requirements. Services can be customized in so many ways and that's where an open dialogue is incredibly helpful.

You take pride in flexibility. You have worked hard to offer value-based services. You owe it to yourself and your potential customers to construct a customized solution and effectively maximize your contribution to their success.

An initial 30-minute consultation saves much time, effort and aggravation in the future. You understand exactly what they need and they know you understand their business. You can provide specs based on that clear understanding. And what better way to begin establishing your connection than to be crystalline-clear from the very beginning. Should they hire you, with mutual understanding, the outcome can only be superior.

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A Bright Alternative for Holiday Gift-Giving

With the holidays quickly approaching, I am inundated with holiday gift guides. No doubt you are as well.

The emphasis on purchasing consumer goods as a means to show appreciation or honor connection is a peculiar notion to me. I don’t ‘get’ it. I purchase no gifts; not because I stand on any principle, but because what I have to give is something more valuable than anything I have ever seen offered for sale.

My present to others is my presence, whether or not it’s the holidays. That is the greatest gift I can give. Full presentness is precious. It is rare. And it is something only I can give to those in my life circle.

I understand why people buy gifts. It’s easy. Digging deep, listening attentively, setting aside time to really connect, allowing someone to share their life and inner thoughts, making a memory, and being nowhere but in the moment is a treasure, a true gift with merit and meaning.

Our lives are so frantic that we often miss the many moments of life that bring the greatest satisfaction; the moment of now, here, connecting, time suspended until the experience has served its full purpose.

Give the gift of yourself this season; fully present.

Happy holidays!

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Getting Older (and Over!) The ”Not Enough” Syndrome by Marlene Oulton

Shortly before my 49^th birthday I decided to boldly go where many had dared to go before me and become an entrepreneur. On April 15, 2006, my company, Write Choice Virtual Assistants, was born. I had tons of administrative experience to draw upon and based my services on these skill sets. Yet in the back of my mind I kept thinking, “You know, I really love to write and proofread. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could manage to get some work along those lines?”

By this time the Universe, God, and I had formed a formidable triangle of mutual respect and love, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when requests to proofread/edit and write articles, ebooks, website content etc. started to flow into my inbox. I had finally become “enough.”

I have now redefined ”enough” in my world today as follows:

• If I treat people with love, kindness and respect, that is “enough.”

• If I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table, that is ”enough.”

• If I can help another human being on this journey called life, that is ”enough.”

• If I do my work conscientiously, with care and love, that is ”enough.”

• If I am at peace with and within myself, that is ”enough.”

May you be more ”enough” than you ever imagined possible!

From Overcomers, Inc.; True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration. To get your own copy and receive dozens of bonus gifts go to http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

From Trauma To Triumph: One Woman’s Empowering Journey From Fragmented Child To Conscious Entrepreneur (excerpt from book Overcomers, Inc.)

As strange as it even seems to me at times, the lessons of my childhood journey are applicable to every aspect of my life, including the everyday operations of my soulful business. As a conscious entrepreneur, I pull from this experience often to guide me. I’d like to share with you the five key insights of my pilgrimage:

1. Protective mechanisms are in place whether or not I realize or acknowledge them.

I don’t always understand why a project fails to materialize or a serious prospect seems to change her mind. I do know there exists an over-arching structure and order that conspires on my behalf to bring about my highest personal and professional growth. Whatever that wisdom, I can trust it absolutely.

2. My ”story” doesn’t define who I am.

I am a vibrant business owner who grows every day, and occasionally stumbles and falls on my bum! Because I constantly create myself anew, nothing from my past can effectively define or imprison me. I consciously choose to “bring my best game” to every day and know that’s enough.

3. Innate wisdom effortlessly guides me to the most opportune time to take action.

When in doubt, I do nothing until ultimate clarity presents itself. Although daily action is a crucial component in accomplishing my goals, I can also watch nature and use Her guidance to positively influence my actions. Nature provides a silent, fallow season – winter – to turn inward to rest and restore. Using this model, I reap the most benefit from my efforts. Smart living requires me to balance action with equal inaction.

4. My history doesn’t determine my level of success.

I can accomplish any lofty goal I imagine regardless of any perceived limitations. The past doesn’t dictate my future. I gift myself the pleasure and freedom to envision a life of my design. Family-of-origin, childhood circumstances, real or perceived impediments, lack of skills, none of these compare to the capacity of the human spirit to realize dreams.

5. I choose victimhood or empowerment every day with my words, thoughts, and actions.

We do not control the actions of others and yet we may be drawn into their drama. Like cast members of a play, energetically we agreed to these roles to teach AND learn. No matter my external circumstances, my responses can only come from one of two places: damage or abundance. I choose abundance.

May you be profoundly blessed by reading my story and take from it any value that forever nourishes your soul.

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From Overcomers, Inc.; True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration. To get your own copy and receive dozens of bonus gifts go to http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

Which Takes Prominence - Service to Others Or Monetizing Business Activities?

Based on my observations, when business owners focus on making money first, service to others often suffers. However, when those same business owners shift their focus instead to "service first," the ideas and money seem to flow much easier.

Why?

I cannot say definitively because many factors are involved, but let's explore what's behind each approach.

Money first

Until we live in a society in which each person takes only what s/he needs and gives in equal measure based on individual abundance, choices, talents and strengths (this is the subject of a very different article!), we all agree cash money is the method of exchange for goods and services.

Okay. With that said, when we approach business with a "how can I monetize my _______________ (ideas, newsletter, information, Web site, expertise, etc.)" mindset, inherent is a myopic perspective. Our viewpoint is so narrow, we limit ourselves without even realizing it. A "Money first" mentality can only ever deliver money first... above everything else. Service takes its place as a second priority, if at all.

Service (and people) first

When we grow business based on how we can best serve others and that is the heart's true desire, a spiritual/magical element is introduced to facilitate our success. It not only allows us to achieve our money-based goals, but it does so in a much more creative and supported fashion. On some level it just "makes sense" and "feels better" based on recent energetic and cultural reprioritizations around money.

A "Service and People first" mentality delivers results and relationships. Money and deep fulfillment just seem to follow organically.

There's nothing wrong with money. Depending on your personal relationship with money, though, it can be hard to generate more by focusing exclusively on money first. What makes the process easier is opening up to greater possibility. It begins by asking yourself...

How can I best serve others with my efforts?

A simple shift in thinking is all that's required. The result is a beautiful fusion that meets both economic needs and philanthropic desires.

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The Violence of Thought

As women we inflict violence on other women; the violence of thought.

Do we really believe our thoughts are harmless; that they have no power to inflict great damage? Do we fail to fully understand that we actively nourish or starve each other with the energy of our thoughts? Have we forgotten we are all connected? Do our synapses fail to fire with the clarity that even if we hold our tongues, we actively participate in the enslavement of each other as long as the undermining thoughts remain?

We sit smugly, silently thinking because we suppress our words, we have exhibited some gracious act; that we are innocents. In fact, we have actually committed a worse offense than giving voice to our thoughts.

The violence of thought is worse than the expression of words because it politely veils our cerebrations; the truth of our own thinking.

While desiring to appear pious and self-restrained, WE STILL HAVE thoughts of judgment, criticism, correction, blame, faultfinding, condemnation, persecution, accusation, disapproval, objection, opposition and harsh opinion.

How scheming, and how preposterous to assume we have fooled anyone but ourselves.

If we are not to speak, let us neither taint the ether—and each other—with our silently poisonous thoughts.

May we instead become consumed with the truth that the cost of toxic thoughts is too high to entertain them for even a moment.

May we consciously replace them with the power of thought-vitality that nourishes, builds, supports, comforts, cherishes, honors, nurtures, encourages, cultivates, mentors, attends, sustains, educates, shelters, reveres and values.

For it is a woman who truly understands the power of her thoughts who changes the world moment-by-moment by wisely managing every one.

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Life-enhancing Dynamics of a Tribe

Call it a clan. Call it a network.
Call it a tribe. Call it a family.
Whatever you call it, whoever you are,
you need one.

Jane Howard

I immensely enjoy the benefits of my connection with the women of my tribe. They inspire me. They motivate me. They support me. They help me bring my ideas to life by actively listening and providing objectivity. This experience has provided an opportunity to look at the value of these connections to offer you insight.

What are the essential components of being in a tribe and maximizing the benefits of such an experience?

Essential components

• Trustworthy colleagues who have something to offer you in business and in life
• Colleagues for whom you have something valuable to offer (complimentary talents)
• People with whom there's a good fit, e.g. similar work ethic, integrity, sense of humor, etc.

Obvious benefits

• Personal and professional comradery
• Support in forward thinking/trendsetting
• Rapid results for goal achievement
• Business propulsion
• Brainstorming opportunities
• Complementary, objective perspectives
• Exposure to an interesting variety of personalities, ideas, and energy

How to maximize benefits of a tribe

1. Think of giving first
2. Be respectful of the time of others -- limit email and telephone inquiries to those of the most important
3. When possible, make yourself immediately available when others need your help - this experience makes a lasting impression because people make the link to you helping when they need you most

As you can see, establishing and maintaining tribal relationships is personally and professionally advantageous.

Connections may last days, months or years based on what each person needs, but the longer these relationships are fostered, the stronger the dynamic because you create history -- and memories -- together.

I highly recommend getting a tribe of your own to serve and be served.

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Thoughts On Self-Value

I write on this topic often, but it keeps coming up, so I keep writing.

A prospect contacted me recently and wanted to set up a free consultation. My expertise is not free. More than two decades of sweat, time, energy and money leaves me with this amazing skillset. And it's worth every penny of my hourly rate... and MUCH MORE! But only if I know this is true and remain committed to this clarity.

This comes up often for female entrepreneurs. How often have you been approached for a barter? How often do you feel at least temporarily obliged to say, "Yes," without stopping to assess how this response relates to your self-value?

In my experience, the more I say, "No," the more free I am to pursue those opportunities that truly honor and support my knowing that what I have to offer the world does indeed have value.

Until our culturally agreed-on method of fair exchange goes from cash to bartership, I remain committed to exchanging my time and expertise for it's fair and inherent value in the form of cash.

It is my sincere wish for you that you see the importance of doing the same.

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It's Not About You!

I noticed something.

So often, we put the actions, words, and aspects of others' lives in terms of our own experience.

Here's an example: I have a friend who's taking a 3-week motorcycle journey across the U.S. Before his departure, I made a mini-scrapbook to commemorate the journey. This is the content:

This journey is the only one of its kind.

This time,
this experience,
this exploration,
can never be recaptured
in the same way again... ever.
It can only be maximized by fully
enjoying - and being present in -
every moment.

Whatever those moments contain,
they exist solely for you... to breathe,
to laugh, to learn, to enjoy, to grow,
to change. They are opportunities
to see all of life from a new perspective.

Soon enough this will be a memory...
an experience to enhance the richness
of your life without the ability to recall
any but the most memorable aspects
and influences.

I wish you every colorful, enchanting, diverse,
stimulating, energizing, thought-provoking,
and life-altering experience on your journey.

Abundant travel blessings,


Back to my observation:

What I noticed is that it takes a special--and important--awareness to see the actions, words and aspects of others' lives as having nothing at all to do with us.

Using my friend's journey as an example, it has nothing to do with me. Instead of sharing what I wished for his experience, I could have made it about me; how I might miss him, what his experience would mean to my life and me, how his exploration would provide insight into our connection. No, no, and no. It is for him... exclusively. To make it about me indicates I am so focused on myself that I cannot step out and away from me to see the greater picture... that all of life is not about me!

We can become so over sensitized that we completely lose perspective. We walk around with a false sense that everything circulates in relation to us. When you think about it, making everything about us is a form of arrogance. We cannot afford to take things personally and we cannot make the lives of others about us.

So rarely does what people say, think or do have anything to do with us. It has everything to do with their individual and solitary path and how they perceive the world through their chosen filter.

When you see an opportunity, make the circumstance in front of you about the other person. Focus on them. Provide support. If inspired, lend a helping hand or word of support. And release yourself from the idea that it has anything to do with you. It probably doesn't!

Free yourself. The life you have is your own. Place the bulk of your energies there and you'll find plenty of work! Allow others their own experience... for that is their sacred journey.

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Thoughts On Sovereignty, Service and Other Stuff

Sovereignty
noun
rightful status, independence, or prerogative

I've been thinking about how we hold sacred space for others, how we help others maintain their dignity and the role each of us plays in offering the gift of sovereignty.

There are no definitive conclusions yet... just more considerations as the days pass. I think each of these explorations deserves its own mindful assessment, but for the purposes of this note, they are lumped together because there's a common thread: We are here to be of service to each other... in some form, in some fashion, in some way. We do it based on our unique talents, our preferences and a myriad of other components, but nevertheless, a sense of service is prominent.

Do you realize only you can make your valuable and irreplaceable contribution? That if your light doesn't shine, the world and its inhabitants feel the impact? That you are precious and valuable even when you feel or think your life makes no difference?

My personal "business" card says, "Charlon Bobo, Muse, Seer of Potential, Divine Guide." I tell you this because it is becoming so much more clear to me that we need to support each other. I exist to reflect your glory. I serve as a reminder and model that we need to be more accessible and transparent. We must step up to provide an element of dignity where its lacking. We must learn what it is to live and breathe spiritual sovereignty. We must give voice and life to all forms of justice. We must be bold and fearless when living our lives. For they are of the few things that matter as we create a new collective based in love.

I can only be the best Charlon I can be. You can only be the best you you can be, but it's incumbent upon each of of us to step into our roles and do what we agreed to do. I cannot play your role and you cannot play mine. It takes a global village to accomplish greatness. Let's do it!

What's your role?

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