Action as a self- and life-affirming gesture

Bald-by-choice isn't for every woman. But then again, what is? One of the most fun aspects of life is the freedom to choose what’s best for us as individuals. Who knows better for ourselves than we do, right?

On a regular basis, as I’m conducting the business of my life, women smile at me and make some gesture or comment about my near-hairless head. They often say, “I’d love to do that, but I don’t have the courage.”

And I say, “Sure you do. You just don’t know it yet.” And with a few words, a stealthy but powerful seed-of-thought has been planted, to burst into bloom at some perfectly-orchestrated moment in the future.

Shaving my head wasn’t an act of courage. Rosa Parks had courage. Eleanor Roosevelt had courage. Amelia Earhart had courage. Lucia Rene has courage. I have a bald head. But it means something to me and that’s all that matters.

It’s been so long since I had hair that bald is now my norm. However, in the moments when I stop to think about what it means to me now, it serves as a reminder of the importance of doing what is right for each of us, regardless of social convention or what others think. It’s your life. Live it!

Within your body and your being, you must be at peace to make your greatest contribution.

Free yourself from the imposing beliefs of others on your life, with action. Do what makes the most sense to you. Maybe it’s shaving your head. Maybe it’s saying, ‘No.’ Maybe it’s obliterating a limiting belief. Maybe it’s creating more ‘you’ time. Maybe it’s responding, ‘Yes,’ to the beckoning voice of your soul.

Whatever the prompting, propel your transformation with action.

The Unspoken Acknowledgement

The other day as I walked on my favorite seaside cliff (without a hat), a woman and her husband crossed the street and stepped up onto the walking path about 8 feet in front of me. As she saw me, in bold and proud fashion, she ceremoniously pulled off her hat to show me her near-bald head. When our eyes met, we both smiled, she donned her hat again, and we went on our respective ways. I laughed out loud with pure joy.

I got it. We communicated without words, which would have only ruined the moment. Her sentiment was clearer than words because she was was connecting from her heart. And I responded from my heart. We acknowledged each other, honored each other; all without words.

It planted a seed of thought: how much doesn't ever need to be spoken with words? Maybe we would better serve ourselves and others by connecting and supporting from the heart without words. Heart language is pure and untainted communication. There is no mistaking the sentiment behind a genuine smile and kind sparkling eyes.

Bald or Not: To Thine Own Self Be True

On Monday I was contacted by a newspaper reporter writing an article on women who are bald by choice. Within minutes an interview for the Baltimore Sun was underway. See full article here.

The reference to responses being mostly negative was a misunderstanding on the part of the reporter. Quite the contrary. I’ve been blessed with an extraordinary amount of spontaneous hugs from women I don't know, tearful approaches of support (they assume I have cancer), remarks about how beautifully-shaped my head is and comments about the courage it takes to do such a thing. It's fascinating to hear people express their take on my hair and head!

The experience of being bald contains many illuminating facets. It continues to serve me and I cannot foresee growing hair again because:

1. It suits me.

2. It’s my way of embracing a simple beauty regimen that doesn’t rob me of my precious time and energy.

3. It’s a passive resistance statement to the multi-billion dollar commercial beauty industry that prefers I feel badly about my 42-year-old face and body so I’ll consume their products.

4. What I look like on the outside doesn’t begin to reflect who and how I am on the inside.

5. Every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded of a line in Shakespeare's Hamlet: “To Thine Own Self Be True.”

People have a compulsion to give their opinions. It's the funniest thing when you're able to watch this dynamic from a distant perspective. They comment on your life; to discuss it, to embrace it, to ridicule it, to criticize it or to support it. Whatever the sentiment, they want to talk.

The bottom line is this: No matter what you do, there will be those who are threatened by you if you live in full alignment and expression of your highest self. Most times, it's those who aren’t doing the same who have the most to say. Sometimes they express anger. They get angry when you do what’s right for you if it falls outside the lines of tribal (cultural) beliefs, e.g., women can have short hair and long hair and blond, red and brunette hair, but women CAN’T have no hair. Well, this one does.

So, I charge you: To You Be True. In your relationships, in business, in life. Be true to you.

You have no higher calling than to express your originality -- your style, your language, your way, your spin, your personality, your opinion, your angle, your insights, your fabulous self.

This isn't about being bald or not. Being bald might NEVER work for you. It’s not for everyone just like kiwi/strawberry toothpaste isn’t for everyone.

The freedom lies in being free enough to do for yourself what you know serves you. And this is not subject to the input of others. It is your birthright and belongs to you exclusively.

Right now take out a piece of paper and write down 10 things that you’re not doing because they’re not socially acceptable (in your home, in your family, in your community, etc.). Remember, these must be things that don’t cause harm to others or take away their ability to make choices that are right for them. Rank them 1-10 and starting with #1, take action. Some are a BIG deal and others -- when implemented -- may be quite subtle. The point is you’re listening to the inner voice that guides you and you’re responding. Good for you!

I’d love to hear back from you on how this exercise positively impacts your life. Feel free to email me comments, progress, inspirations and insights.

PS: If you’ve never put your bald head through a sunroof at 55 MPH, you don’t know what you’re missing!